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Wednesday, January 03, 2018

The Bradley Awards

I've spoken with Moira and she has endorsed the idea of creating the Marion Zimmer Bradley Awards for Normalizing Sexual Abnormality in Science Fiction and Fantasy. We have a whole host of ideas for various categories, including:
  • Most Inappropriate Presence of a Minor
  • Most Cringeworthy Sex Scene
  • Most Disturbing Interspecies Relationship
  • Best Surreptitious Introduction of a Gay Character
  • Creepiest Author Photo
  • Edward Kramer Memorial Most Likely to be Arrested for Sex Crimes
  • David Asimov Memorial Most Likely to be Found with a Gargantuan Kiddy Porn Stash
  • Most Transparent Excuse for Having Sex with a Minor
  • Gene Rodenberry Memorial Best Star Trek-related Work
  • Best Imitation of a Landwhale
  • Best Anti-Christian Screed
  • Most Luxuriant Neckbeard
  • Walter Breen Memorial Best Defense of Pedophilia
  • Worst SF or Fantasy Novel
  • Worst SF or Fantasy Short Work
  • Creepiest Comics Panel
  • Creepiest Film/TV Scene
  • George R. R. Martin Memorial Most Egregious Rape Scene
Anyone got any more category ideas? I'm thinking four nominees per category. This is going to be a world-famous award, and we don't want too many nominees out there bragging about their Bradleys.

Of course, we'll have to sort out precisely who is permitted to nominate and vote on the awards, and if there is going to be registration or other sort of limitation on participation, such as presenting evidence of having purchased a Castalia House book.

Regardless, no SJWs or pedos will be allowed.

UPDATE: Moira suggests "Never Turn your Back on a Breen" be engraved on the award.

Labels: ,

194 Comments:

Blogger SirMaorio January 03, 2018 11:56 AM  

Something diveristy related maybe? most useless diveristy(TM) character or uselessly diverse character

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother January 03, 2018 11:58 AM  

Most diverse orgy scene

Blogger Nate January 03, 2018 11:58 AM  

A couple suggestions:

Fishiest Fishmout

The Samuel Delany Lifetime Achievement Award

Blogger pyrrhus January 03, 2018 11:59 AM  

How about a Joe Biden award for creepiest Politician caught groping a teenager?

Anonymous Tsalal January 03, 2018 12:00 PM  

Best Rachel Swirsky-ian title?

Anonymous Looking Glass January 03, 2018 12:01 PM  

Shouldn't there be a "Stephen King Award for Excellence in Drug-fueled Random & Inappropriate Sex Scene with Minors"? We got the remake of IT in 2017, so this came back up.

Anonymous UF January 03, 2018 12:02 PM  

The John Scalzi Memorial Most Inappropriate Offer of Oral Sex

Anonymous Reenay January 03, 2018 12:03 PM  

But Vox, I emailed Moira and Justin Trudeau, and they both told me you never emailed her! How about that?!

Anonymous UF January 03, 2018 12:03 PM  

Nate wrote:

The Samuel Delany Lifetime Achievement Award



Seconded

Anonymous Zane Duke January 03, 2018 12:05 PM  

"Most Disturbing Interspecies Relationship"

The Larry Niven Rishathra Memorial Award?

Anonymous patrick kelly January 03, 2018 12:08 PM  

Reenay wrote:....... How about that?!

Troll? Troll Parody? Troll Parody Parody?

My eeevans can't tell anymore.

Anonymous a deplorable rubberducky January 03, 2018 12:11 PM  

Great news for Scalzi! More major awards are certain to be headed for his wall now. He's a lock for Most Cringeworthy Sex Scene at least.

Anonymous Napoleon 12pdr January 03, 2018 12:12 PM  

The rules for "Most Cringeworthy Sex Scene" should specify that the characters must have sex. Of some sort.

Cringeworthy romance scenes don't make the cut.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 03, 2018 12:12 PM  

"The Scalzi" has to be the most tone-deaf virtue signaling confession of the year.

Blogger MisesMat January 03, 2018 12:12 PM  

The John Scalzi "I'm a Rapist!" Award

Blogger The Deuce January 03, 2018 12:14 PM  

John Scalzi Award for most disturbingly believable portrayal of a sex criminal's thought processes.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 03, 2018 12:14 PM  

"Most Disturbing Interspecies Relationship" has to be the "Chuck Tingle Award". There is room for the related award, "The Interspecies Sex Scene even Chuck Tingle would never write".

Blogger Mocheirge January 03, 2018 12:14 PM  

"Most Transparent Self-Insertion" (interpret as you like)

What about an award for "Most likely to be secretly cis-het"?

Anonymous Oscar Wilde January 03, 2018 12:15 PM  

Best Pseudointellectual Defence of Pedopilia aka" The Greeks Did It Too/ NAMBLA defence"..

Blogger The Deuce January 03, 2018 12:17 PM  

Stephen King award for most thinly-disguised pedophile erotica

Blogger MisesMat January 03, 2018 12:17 PM  

The Trekkies love too! Award.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 03, 2018 12:18 PM  

Best hate on whitey screed.

Blogger SDaly January 03, 2018 12:18 PM  

The Sri Lankan Fellowship Award.

Blogger MisesMat January 03, 2018 12:18 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Kallmunz January 03, 2018 12:18 PM  

I too would like to help Mr. Scalzi win another award. How about a category for bestiality?

Anonymous Tyson January 03, 2018 12:19 PM  

"This is going to be a world-famous award, and we don't want too many nominees out there bragging about their Bradleys."

I laughed so hard at this that I cleared my frontal sinuses and lungs.

Needs a Brave Choice award for virtue signaling against Trump

Blogger MisesMat January 03, 2018 12:21 PM  

The "I'm a Rapist!" Award:

It should come with a statue of Gamma Rabbit and the Pink Bunny posse.

Blogger SouthRon January 03, 2018 12:21 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Giraffe January 03, 2018 12:21 PM  

Samuel R. Delaney Award: Most disturbing scene involving feces.

Blogger Kallmunz January 03, 2018 12:22 PM  

I too would like to help Mr. Scalzi win another award. How about a category for bestiality?

Blogger SouthRon January 03, 2018 12:22 PM  

I have your Creepiest Comics Panel right here.

Unless you meant a drawing instead of a Con Comics Panel.

Blogger Giraffe January 03, 2018 12:23 PM  

John Scalzi Award: The most shoddily written sex scene, leading the reader to conclude the author has never actually had sex, and his kids are most likely someone else's.

Anonymous Steveo January 03, 2018 12:25 PM  

Best knockoff of a Scalzi knockoff?

Blogger The Reactionary January 03, 2018 12:25 PM  

Isn't SciFi just the Castro district of literature

Blogger haus frau January 03, 2018 12:25 PM  

Should there be some sort of fan participation award? Something like Most Egregious Rationalization of the Idefensible?

Anonymous UF January 03, 2018 12:26 PM  

Creepiest Perspective Character

Most Disturbing Depiction of a Society Structured Around Child Abuse
(Probably not the best title, but I'm thinking of stories like "The Giver" or "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas")

Blogger The Kurgan January 03, 2018 12:26 PM  

The John Scalzi Rapiest Rapist Award

Blogger Giraffe January 03, 2018 12:26 PM  

Like this: Kiva Lagos was busily fucking the brains out of the assistant purser she’d been after for the last six weeks of the Yes, Sir, That’s My Baby’s trip from Lankaran to End when Second Officer Waylov Brennir entered her stateroom, unannounced. “You’re needed,” he said.

“I’m a little busy at the moment,” Kiva said. She’d just finally gotten herself into a groove, so fuck Waylov (not literally, he was awful) if she was going to get out of the groove just because he walked into it. Grooves were hard to come by. People have sex, and he was unannounced. If this was what he walked into, it was his fault, not hers.

Anonymous b January 03, 2018 12:27 PM  

Need a Hogg award for something
Who will win the coveted "Hoggie"?

Blogger MisesMat January 03, 2018 12:27 PM  

How about "The Greatest Hugo Apologist" Award? (I nominate George R.R. Martin)

Blogger Paul, Dammit! January 03, 2018 12:27 PM  

The Piers Anthony memorial raffle. Proceeds to benefit authors who make sex with children part of their routine plot tropes. Winner gets a bottle of Tylenol PM's and a gift certificate to Comet Ping Pong.

Anonymous DanG January 03, 2018 12:28 PM  

How about a “Nothing to see here” award for best attempt to deflect or disqualify?

Blogger The Deuce January 03, 2018 12:29 PM  

Perhaps there should be an award for where a fantasy author ascribes ahistorical "progressive" sexual and social practices to pagan societies with the insinuation that we should follow in their imaginary footsteps.

The sci-fi equivalent is when the author invents a sexually-progressive alien society for the same purpose, especially when it's supposed to be based on an actual past one.

Anonymous Scalzi January 03, 2018 12:30 PM  

Blow me Deplorable Ducky.

Blogger MisesMat January 03, 2018 12:32 PM  

Two more ideas arise: 1) Most Obvious Mary Sue (Nominating Rei from SW).

2.) Most Gender Confused Character of the Year

Blogger S1AL January 03, 2018 12:33 PM  

The Piers Anthony, given for the year's top defender of bestially in an SFF novel.

(www.avclub.com/revisiting-the-sad-misogynistic-fantasy-of-xanth-1798241312/amp)

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 12:34 PM  

The "Johnny Depp Award" for references to child and baby terrorizing and murder to extract human derived drugs. AKA, "The Fear and Loathing Award."

Blogger haus frau January 03, 2018 12:34 PM  

The Todd Nickerson Stranger Danger Award? You could award this one to children who regularly attend the cons without being molested.

Anonymous Broken Arrow January 03, 2018 12:38 PM  

Highest rapes to page count ratio. GRR gets a nomination.

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 12:38 PM  

The Disney Award for best ways to take away little girls innocence, and producing early puberty. Or every girl is a Princess, and some boys too.

Blogger Matthew Asnip January 03, 2018 12:39 PM  

The most inclusively diverse character and relationship awards.

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 12:40 PM  

The "Tom Hanks Award" for an elite pervert faking normal behavior, while subverting it all along.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 03, 2018 12:40 PM  

"Worst Obvious Gender-Swap for SJW Points" award.

Greatest Token Character award.

George RR Martin award for most incest in a work.

Blogger Salt January 03, 2018 12:41 PM  

The "SHUT UP, WESLEY" award for most annoying childlike behavior

Blogger tweell January 03, 2018 12:41 PM  

The Pedo Con award - given to the SF/F convention that does the best job of harboring and protecting abusers.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 03, 2018 12:42 PM  

@49 tuberman

Wouldn't that be the Spacey?

Blogger 4499 January 03, 2018 12:43 PM  

The Ink Jemima "Whycome Black Folk Don't Get A Award Dis Time?" award.*



*It's just a bottle of syrup.

Anonymous GregMan January 03, 2018 12:46 PM  

"Most Disgusting Description of Alien Genitalia"

Or is the word "Alien" too triggering? "Extraterrestrial" might work, but that's too Earth-centric...

Anonymous polyhedron January 03, 2018 12:46 PM  

Largest lawn
Most thoroughly sweat-soaked shirt at a convention

Blogger MisesMat January 03, 2018 12:46 PM  

How about the Charlie Rose Award for best Sci-Fi Media coverage?

Blogger haus frau January 03, 2018 12:46 PM  

@49 tuberman

Wouldn't that be the Spacey?

I'm not convinced Spacey did such a good job at that. He always played the same character to differing degrees. His villains don't depart too much from reality.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine January 03, 2018 12:48 PM  

"Most Disturbing Depiction of a Society Structured Around Child Abuse"

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PoweredByAForsakenChild

Anonymous Nathan January 03, 2018 12:49 PM  

Can we get Chris Hansen to host?

Anonymous WinstonWebb January 03, 2018 12:52 PM  

This brilliant idea has already received a celebrity endorsement!

Anonymous Chad January 03, 2018 12:58 PM  

- The "If you were a Dinosaur, my Love" Award for a short story by an identifying female author wishing her paramour had more testosterone
- The "Cheese and Pepperoni" Award for normalizing pedophilia through a work that does the best job of mocking normal people's suspicions that pedophilia is occurring

Anonymous Blastmaster January 03, 2018 12:59 PM  

The statue used atop the award can be a likeness of the first Minneapolis city council member who is both black AND transgender! Virtue signalling for the win!

Blogger StrawMan January 03, 2018 12:59 PM  

No award named after R Scott Bakker?

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 1:00 PM  

Looking Glass wrote:@49 tuberman

Wouldn't that be the Spacey?


If you're talking Kevin, "American Beauty" was so nihilistic and weird, it was obvious then (1999) he hated Traditional people.

Hank's "Big" was a subtle force for pedo behavior, that most do not even see today. There are videos of him teaching extremely young girls in beauty contests how to project slut sexuality to win the contests, and he plays the female role while teaching.

Maybe it's just that I've always seen through Spacey, and only caught on to Hanks about two years ago. He's good at it.

Blogger Heian-kyo Dreams January 03, 2018 1:00 PM  

Cat Rambo for Walter Breen Memorial Best Defense of Pedophilia award for her "brilliant" dismissal of actual child abuse victims.

Blogger SouthRon January 03, 2018 1:01 PM  

I nominate Harry Knowles for The Most Luxuriant Neckbeard. He may cross over into a few others after recently having to"step away" from Ain't It Cool News due to multiple sexual harassment charges.

@47 That Disney award for inappropriate sexual antics around children would have to be called the Newsie after the CDaN reveal yesterday.

Anonymous The Original Arrogant Steelers Fan January 03, 2018 1:01 PM  

Dr. Katherine Pulaski Lifetime of Underachievement Award

Blogger Daniel Paul Grech Pereira January 03, 2018 1:02 PM  

"Creepy author photo" is going to be a crowded field.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 03, 2018 1:04 PM  

Forrey Ackerman Award for encouraging young girls to dress in a provocative and revealing manner. Nicknamed the, "Vamp".

Blogger tz January 03, 2018 1:05 PM  

Is the Neckbeard category going to be split into Men's, Womens, Trans-woman, Trans-man, and Alien Species subcategory? Male Medusa anyone?

Anonymous DaveInjustice January 03, 2018 1:08 PM  

Creepiest Author Photo
Edward Kramer Memorial


I feel like Jim C Hines might run away with the Bradleys

Anonymous DaveInjustice January 03, 2018 1:10 PM  

The NK Jemisin Award for Blacks that Write Good (and want to do other things good too)

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 03, 2018 1:10 PM  

Forrest Ackerman award for encouraging a young child to dress in a provocative and or revealing manner.

Blogger tz January 03, 2018 1:13 PM  

Longest chain of orgasnisms engaged in sex in a scene.
50 Shades for the best Grrl Power Character by Grrl Power author being tortured and raped in various ways and liking it.
Queen Victoria award for any mention of getting an STD.
DamiOmen award for getting pregnant with Mordred, the Anti-Christ, or similar universe ending being.
Kurt Eichenwald award for best tentacle porn.
Size matters award for longest book full of sex scenes but no discernable character development or plot.
Marvel Graffiti award for the worst gender bent retelling, (vandalizing), of a well known character.

Blogger Heian-kyo Dreams January 03, 2018 1:14 PM  

I admire you folks who can stomach this sort of fiction since I put books down when they make my skin crawl.

Blogger Longtime Lurker January 03, 2018 1:17 PM  

Creepy Author Photo? I nominate the Gift that Keeps on Giving.

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2017/12/24/whatever-best-of-2017/

Anonymous Aeoli Pera January 03, 2018 1:17 PM  

haus frau wrote:Should there be some sort of fan participation award? Something like Most Egregious Rationalization of the Idefensible?

I'd like to see the enablers get some credit. How about the World's Best Dad/Best Mom awards for parents who dindu nuffin?

Anonymous Steve Canyon January 03, 2018 1:19 PM  

The Grandly Grandiose, Elegantly Impressive, Sublimely Superb, and Ostentatiously Magnificent and Resplendent in its Importance award for announcing to one's followers that one has been recognized by any authoritative body by humbly, casually and off-handedly inserting it into a social media platform. I nominate Scalzi and only Scalzi as him sharing the nomination only detracts from the importance and exclusivity of this award.

Blogger Silly but True January 03, 2018 1:20 PM  

Most Inappropriate Presence of a Minor

1. John Podesta's emails
2. James Alefantis' Facebook
3. Joe Biden's official Vice-President photos
4. Worldcon76

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 1:24 PM  

The "Anne Rice Award" for the ability to publish the most perverted porno...because woman, and it's just "Horror Romance."

Blogger S1AL January 03, 2018 1:25 PM  

"I admire you folks who can stomach this sort of fiction since I put books down when they make my skin crawl."

I can't count the number of authors or series I've dropped after the squick moments. For a few years I was reading about a book a day, on average, largely sci-fi and fantasy. Of those hundreds of books, I now can't read half the authors because of the weird stuff. Of the other half, many were still creepy in a more adult way (Martin is merely the most talented of the lot).

It wasn't until Sad Puppies started blowing the lid off the whole thing that I realized that it was systemic, and then reading about the rest here really opened my eyes to just how bad it is.

Blogger Aeoli January 03, 2018 1:25 PM  

Aeoli Pera wrote:haus frau wrote:Should there be some sort of fan participation award? Something like Most Egregious Rationalization of the Idefensible?

I'd like to see the enablers get some credit. How about the World's Best Dad/Best Mom awards for parents who dindu nuffin?


Or maybe the Eyes Wide Shut award(s) for least plausible deniability and worst excuse for long-term feigned ignorance.

Blogger Bogey January 03, 2018 1:26 PM  

"Edward Kramer Memorial Most Likely to be Arrested for Sex Crimes"

Almost choked on my breakfast sandwich. Good one.

How about most inventive rape scene. Mary Sue of the year. Biggest Cuck of the year...to the writer or character?

Anonymous Not Scalzi January 03, 2018 1:29 PM  

The Rambo Award for anti-Hispanic Racism?

Channeling Alinsky, think about excluded authors -- del Arroz, Vox Day, Larry Correia, Sarah Hoyt.

Perhaps this award could be sponsored by the Amero-Hispano Making SF Great Again Society.

Blogger Miguel January 03, 2018 1:29 PM  

*sigh*

Here goes VD (the self-proclaimed "lazy") involving himself into another project.

By the way, those were quite the categories!

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 1:30 PM  

There is so much good to great material for these awards that it is revealing. This could go on, and on, and on....Wow.Just.Wow!

Blogger Bogey January 03, 2018 1:32 PM  

The Scalzi award for the most audacious rip off of a superior work.

Blogger Nate January 03, 2018 1:32 PM  

Also... I think something like this shouldn't be a fan award. We need a committee of elite assholes to nominate and vote.

Anonymous The Watcher of the Skies January 03, 2018 1:33 PM  

and speaking of David Asimov, son of the legendary Isaac Asimov...
guess who was the U.S. Attorney in NorCal who delivered the plea deal bargain to David and let him off the hook?

None other than the "Honorary" Robert Swan Muller III !!!!!

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 1:34 PM  

"Or maybe the Eyes Wide Shut award(s) for least plausible deniability and worst excuse for long-term feigned ignorance."

Well, ya know, he did "die" just four days after submitting script. Nudge, nudge, know what I mean.

Anonymous ZhukovG January 03, 2018 1:35 PM  

I recommend whittling down the list to about five categories. That would make the awards and their winners more memorable.

Also bear in mind, that some, if not most, will be proud of their awards, even if they refuse to admit it.

Blogger Bogey January 03, 2018 1:39 PM  

"It was an honor award" for the most hated by SJWs man/woman of the year (must work in the industry).

Anonymous CPEG January 03, 2018 1:39 PM  

Will they just be recent and current offenders? I'm going to have to do some research to find authors and titles, but I remember some bad, bad stuff I read a decade ago.

I recall one story where the protagonist was taken into the far future through cryogenic sleep. In the future, resources were scarce, so reproduction was deliberately limited. The obvious effect of that, to the author, was sexual liberation, with gays being accepted and even praised. The most memorable scene was when the protagonist befriended a virtuous gay couple whose adopted son was just hitting puberty, and was so very excited that now he could get his vasectomy and start having sex with adult women instead of prepubescent girls.

A millstone, a millstone, my galaxy for a millstone.

Anonymous A Most Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents January 03, 2018 1:40 PM  

Suggestion:

The Arthur C. Clarke "Most likely to relocate outside US jurisdiction" traveling trophy. Each year, the previous winner must hand it off to the winner of Current Year.

Anonymous John January 03, 2018 1:41 PM  

Finally a way to guarantee that Vox can win an award!

Blogger Forge the Sky January 03, 2018 1:46 PM  

Most Ambiguously Gendered Character

Most Independent Female Character

Blogger Forge the Sky January 03, 2018 1:48 PM  

Whitest Knight award

Blogger Aeoli January 03, 2018 1:49 PM  

Nate wrote:Also... I think something like this shouldn't be a fan award. We need a committee of elite assholes to nominate and vote.

I suggest Vox, Heartiste, and Pleasureman, awards presented by Razorfist.

Blogger Pax_Romana January 03, 2018 1:49 PM  

Category for Most Genders/Gender Pronouns Used (minimum 3, of course).

Blogger vanderleun January 03, 2018 1:51 PM  

"Artiste" most likely to spend the rest of his career as a suck-starter for the siphon at the trailer park's pumpout.

Anonymous Mortis January 03, 2018 1:51 PM  

Around a Breen, don't get too keen.

Blogger Dexter January 03, 2018 1:57 PM  

"Isn't SciFi just the Castro district of literature"

Though unlike the real Castro, it has a distinct lack of visible abs...

Blogger James Dixon January 03, 2018 1:58 PM  

Folks, what you see here is an Award Winning Cruelty Artist at work. Do not try this at home.

Blogger dienw January 03, 2018 2:00 PM  

@Stg58/Animal Mother wrote:Most diverse orgy scene

Updated Roman Orgy painting a la Couture

Same image by itself.

Anonymous A.B. Prosper January 03, 2018 2:01 PM  

Funny, though Original Trek isn't creepy at all nor really is Deep Space 9 that I can remember. The rest ....

If you have guest judges, Andrew Vacchs is a must though

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 2:03 PM  

Since it's almost SF to understand that most of the Fed Judges placed in the higher courts, that their main task promoted by the Administrations from Poppy Bush onward was to protect Child Traffickers and Pedos, there should certainly be a Federal Judge Award for those who helped the Traffickers and Pedos in an outstanding way.

This will probably have to wait until the 2019 awards, as it will all be out by then.

Blogger Mahorka January 03, 2018 2:03 PM  

Will there be a participation fee? With part or all of proceedings going to a pedophilia survivor fund. Or to some,ah, deplorable Christian organization which would send the winners a message, maybe some like this:
"Obviously, God will judge you, not these people. But if you're guilty, you will burn in hell. Confess if you're guilty and we will pray for your soul a little bit."
I'm not even a Christian but I would pay if it's not very much.

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 2:07 PM  

Controlled Opposition and Troll Awards for people who support small unimportant truths, and attack anyone telling critical truths, or the Bow Tie Awards.

Blogger tuberman January 03, 2018 2:11 PM  

BTW, I nominate Ben Shapiro for first Bow Tie Award.

Anonymous Flyerofplanes January 03, 2018 2:13 PM  

I've soiled myself laughing at this. so much talent here, and so many targets/categories.

Blogger haus frau January 03, 2018 2:15 PM  

@80 Or maybe the Eyes Wide Shut award(s) for least plausible deniability and worst excuse for long-term feigned ignorance.

Perhaps we could nominate Kenny Smith's mother for that one? She called up MZB expecting her to tell her the truth about molestation rumors concerning her own husband and then allowed her small son to spend an entire week with the man.

Anonymous JAG January 03, 2018 2:16 PM  

A.B. Prosper wrote:Funny, though Original Trek isn't creepy at all nor really is Deep Space 9 that I can remember. The rest ....

If you have guest judges, Andrew Vacchs is a must though


Well, DS9 did introduce the "Breen" species. Dots not hard to connect...

Anonymous VFM6016 January 03, 2018 2:17 PM  

The Luke Crywalker Award: Most beloved character from a franchise of yore that once controlled by SJW's got turned into a pathetic emo farce of their original self.

Blogger Thomas O January 03, 2018 2:18 PM  

Lol

Is this Black Knighting or what?

Anonymous Uncle John's Band January 03, 2018 2:19 PM  

This is just masterful on so many levels, Vox. Thank you for yet another flush haymaker to the diseased face of SJWism.

@ 91. CPEG

When this takes off, you can imagine a "legends committee," or "lifetime achievement awards," or some sort of recognition for historical worthies.

Blogger JaimeInTexas January 03, 2018 2:21 PM  

Slice Of Pizza Lifetime Achievement Award

Blogger Brad Matthews January 03, 2018 2:23 PM  

His TV show was cross dressing too. Don't forget.

OpenID crapulux January 03, 2018 2:33 PM  

the Tentacle Monster award.

Now, Moira sounds seriously baddass. I hope she gets a cameo in Alt-Hero!

Blogger Resident Moron™ January 03, 2018 2:36 PM  

OT:

Jake Tapper tweeting and "Official White House statement on Steve Bannon".

Pretty strong stuff: https://twitter.com/jaketapper/status/948624299249881089

Blogger Madame Ringading January 03, 2018 2:42 PM  

Is there a special "Lie Back and Think of Multiculturalism" award for authorities who overlook sexual abuse of minors in the name of political correctness? I know of a bunch of worthies in Rotheringham, UK who would be a shoo-in for this.

Blogger Ben Cohen January 03, 2018 2:57 PM  

To hell with this genre.

Is there any left that aren't degenerate?

Blogger Silly but True January 03, 2018 3:01 PM  

Best Tentacle Shotacon Yaoi Award for Viewing With the Eichenwald Family

Anonymous CPEG January 03, 2018 3:12 PM  

"To hell with this genre.

Is there any left that aren't degenerate?"

Castalia House authors, such as John C Wright. Might I recommend AWAKE IN THE NIGHT LAND?

Anonymous Steve Canyon January 03, 2018 3:12 PM  

Is there an official statue for these awards? Something that somewhat looks like Barney with the sort of wings tattooed on the back of a stripper, wearing a shirt that says "Love is Real!". Could even call it the Spacey.

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 03, 2018 3:18 PM  

Awards night should be interesting.

There is no way in hell I'm going you understand but it should be interesting.

Blogger Dire Badger January 03, 2018 3:19 PM  

Ben Cohen wrote:To hell with this genre.

Is there any left that aren't degenerate?


Milfic is still pretty 'square'. Not all of it, of course, but even John Ringo's 'Ghost' refused to touch REALLY young girls.

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 03, 2018 3:26 PM  

Creepiest Author Photo

Jim Hines was thought to have solid lock on this one.

But surprisingly Nick Cole is giving him some pretty stiff competition this year.

Even Nick admits the author's photo for Galaxy's Edge looks like the last photograph found on a dead hitchhiker's camera

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 03, 2018 3:28 PM  

@125

I'm serious, it has that whole, "boy, you should not have looked inside my backpack" slasher movie vibe to it.

Anonymous jayuf January 03, 2018 3:29 PM  

Salt beat me to the punch. I like the "Shut Up, Wesley" Award for most gamma protagonist in SF/F.

Blogger Cinco January 03, 2018 3:38 PM  

The Arthur C. Clarke most likely to live on an island without age of consent laws with your pre-pubescent son sodomite achievement award

Blogger LP9 January 03, 2018 3:39 PM  

This is sad but needed as those whom celebrate abuse, depravity, the darkness of the pink sf or this normalization of sickening writing, there MUST BE awards given to them b/c this is what they love they love and so dearly enjoy writing about utterly nauseating topics.

Blogger Silly but True January 03, 2018 3:42 PM  

Shapiro Award for Best Fielding of Journalist Body Slam Conspiracy

Anonymous Bell Worthington January 03, 2018 3:47 PM  

The N. K. Jemisin Award for outstanding personal exploitation of ethnocuckery in lieu of literary merit.

Blogger Gordon Scott January 03, 2018 3:48 PM  

I am only glad I didn't have a mouthful of water when I read the first paragraph.

Anonymous Burning the Porn Stash! January 03, 2018 3:53 PM  

Speaking of human trafficking, a fire broke out today at the home of Bill and Hillary Clinton in Chappaqua, New York.

Three possibilities:

1) Burning evidence
2) A warning to keep quiet about what they know
3) An accident resulting from concussed Hillary's early onset dementia

In better times for them, fires COULDN'T break out at the Clinton home. But those times are past. Being expendable really sucks, as Bill and Hill are about to find out. The master donors are happy to let Bill and Hill take the fall for various crimes against humanity. And the rats are fleeing the sinking ship.

Some people want to show them mercy. But that would be a mistake. Until the family is well and truly purged, the threat of Chelsea looms over our political life. Her overwhelming lack of charisma makes her an unlikely leader, but the Clinton Foundation remains the most powerful international bribery operation in human history. And the master donors don't want to waste that.

Anyway, I hope no blackberries were destroyed in the fire!

Blogger Dave W. January 03, 2018 3:57 PM  

How about the Victor Salva Lifetime Achievement in Cinematic Pederasty? It should go along well with the release of Jeepers Creepers 3 on DVD/Bluray.

Anonymous Burning the Porn Stash! January 03, 2018 4:00 PM  

To be a bit more on topic, I love this idea and think it is very funny. I think it would be more newsworthy if there were fewer awards. It also might be fun to set up an organization of actual progressive degeneracy advocates to give these damning awards in earnest. There are many out there who really want to celebrate interspecies mating, homosexual characters, anti-Christian screeds, anti-male screeds, anti-white screeds, gender fluidity, and yes, childhood sexual education and "awakening."

Let's celebrate these progressive "transgressions" in SciFi. Pushing the limits! Going where no man has gone before! Awakening!


Anonymous A.B. Prosper January 03, 2018 4:09 PM  

Ben Cohen wrote:To hell with this genre.

Is there any left that aren't degenerate?


The Left ?

Mercedes Lackey is OK

She is famous for her Gay Mage character Vanyel but he's refused to sleep with young infatuated men because they are too young or who are just gay because he's famous and is self sacrificing and moral to the end.

Its absolutely left wing setting but written by a sane somewhat reality based person. Handling raptors means you have to be grounded

I've been enjoying L.E. Modestit's Imager . Its not Left at all though

Its Non Steampunk Secondary World Victorian Tech Fantasy think "Not France" and solidly normal. Its slow with little violence, no sex and interesting politics. Dualistic Deism as State Religion is novel as well

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents January 03, 2018 4:14 PM  


Anyway, I hope no blackberries were destroyed in the fire!


That's what hammers are for.

Blogger Brad Richards January 03, 2018 4:15 PM  

atheism is correlated with leftism

I wouldn't have thought so. I think it's "casual Christians" wjp make up the bulk of the progs and liberals. They seem to think that they are demonstrating Christian virtues by pushing diversity and being sympathetic to illegals.

The atheists I know are libertarian or conservative. Personally, I am alt-west, tending towards the right.

The vitriol I read here towards atheists isn't unfounded, but it is properly directed at the ex-religious atheists, who think their rejection of religion requires them to attack it. The rest of us mostly figure everyone is entitled to their beliefs, as long as they don't go around imposing them on others. I'll may deliberately offend the idiotic Jehovah's Witnesses on my porch, but for the rest? We have more areas of agreement than disagreement. Not least of which is the historical benefit of Christianity: the "protestant work ethic" built Western civilization.

Blogger lowercaseb January 03, 2018 4:24 PM  

I would dip into my savings to make this real. There needs to be a most epic meltdown on 2017, but I have no idea who it should be named after. There are too many choices.

As well, can we have a secret king of kings coronation? I could donate a copy of an original copy of Gamma World from 79 as the prize.

Blogger tublecane January 03, 2018 4:25 PM  

@30-There is a distinction between unrealistic or surrealistic sex scenes and descriptions of sex that cause you to wonder whether the author possesses any firsthand knowledge, but it can be subtle. I've read more than one story, for instance, in which the author appeared to believe women's breasts grow when they're aroused. I figured they were either flights of fancy or simple biological ignorance.

Scalzi comes off like he's a virgin, perhaps, but you never know. He's not that great a writer, and maybe describing what he has done is beyond him.

Anonymous Jo January 03, 2018 4:27 PM  

I haven't read all of the comments here yet, bit pressed for time, but I was thinking: Most Gratuitous LGBTQFFS Character.

I notice that these people like to include LGBTQ characters, not because the story or setting needs the inclusion, but simply so they can claim they represented said type. It's like gratuitous nudity in a movie or television show. The story doesn't need the nudity, but it's included solely because sex sales. Same concept, except SJW doesn't sale, but whatever. They're on a mission.

Blogger Junius Stone January 03, 2018 4:27 PM  

Most Manly Female Character

Most Effeminate Male Character

Anonymous JAG January 03, 2018 4:27 PM  

The Wheaton or the Wesley, whichever award is named after him. The trophy just has to be the LEGO figure that he was butt-hurt about the other day.

Blogger Junius Stone January 03, 2018 4:28 PM  

Most Obvious Diversity Hire Character

Blogger Junius Stone January 03, 2018 4:29 PM  

Loudest Virtue Signaleer Author (In-Story_

Loudest Virtue Signaleer Author (Out-of-Story)

Blogger lowercaseb January 03, 2018 4:30 PM  

JAG wrote:The Wheaton or the Wesley, whichever award is named after him. The trophy just has to be the LEGO figure that he was butt-hurt about the other day. We now have a name for the biggest meltdown award and the Trophy idea is BRILLIANT!

Bravo!

Blogger Junius Stone January 03, 2018 4:32 PM  

And I'd say Wheaton is a lock to be the first recipient. 3 to 1 odds he dies from brain lock.

Blogger tublecane January 03, 2018 4:35 PM  

I heard on the iSteve blog that there are private-sector Auxiliary Thought Police for hire if you want a novel or other piece of writing to be perused for wokeness. They help you cull the thoughtcrime before it gets to publication. Of course, child-friendly and religious watchdogs have done that for a long time.

I wish there was something similar for sexual and other ickiness in books for non-perverts. I was reading the novel Independent People lately, and though it didn't have actual incest, it was a bit too incest-y. Would've been nice to know going in. I found out there was a,warning of sorts in the introduction, but I often don't read those. (For "highbrow" literature especially they have no qualms about utterly spoiling the plot. Don't know why that is. I guess plots are only for pulp novels anymore. Doesn't much matter with Independent People, which is like 80 years old, however.)

Maybe a database somewhere could keep track of ickiness, not just in sci-fi and fantasy but in all literature. For those who are interested.

Blogger tublecane January 03, 2018 4:39 PM  

@40-You could call it the Noble Dan Savage, except he has no connection to sci-fi/fantasy of which I'm aware.

Blogger tublecane January 03, 2018 4:42 PM  

@64-People see it in Big because Hanks played a 13 year-old boy. If he were female, the movie would be infamous.

Blogger tublecane January 03, 2018 4:45 PM  

@149- Sorry, I meant to say he was a boy AND his unwitting rapist was a woman.

I realize female teachers are always being put on trial for sexing their 13 year-old students, and most people find that sort of relationship objectionable. But it's the form of that sort of thing they find least objectionable.

Anonymous Avalanche January 03, 2018 4:49 PM  

@80 "Or maybe the Eyes Wide Shut award(s) for least plausible deniability and worst excuse for long-term feigned ignorance."

!!! Can Marion Zimmer Bradley get a posthumous Bradley Award herself?! Or will that tear a hole in the space-time continumm?

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 03, 2018 4:50 PM  

Roman Polanski award for best/most ingenious casting couch/hot tub use. Bryan Singer will probably win most years.

Anonymous Be Deplorable, Not Afraid January 03, 2018 4:58 PM  

>UPDATE: Moira suggests "Never Turn your Back on a Breen" be engraved on the award.

Wow. I'm afraid I can't bring myself to read the horrors in her book; but from what I've seen here, they were more than I could bear. For someone to not only survive that, and then not only write about it, but, by endorsing these "awards," stick up a middle finger to those who did it and all their supporters... that's what strength is. God bless Moira.

Anonymous The Original Arrogant Steelers Fan January 03, 2018 5:07 PM  

The Mary Suewalker "Shooting for the Stars... and Missing" Award

Anonymous Avalanche January 03, 2018 5:09 PM  

@122 "Awards night should be interesting.
There is no way in hell I'm going you understand but it should be interesting."

Stream it through a Tor... and a VPN... and a library computer!

Blogger dienw January 03, 2018 5:27 PM  

Resident Moron™ wrote:OT:

Jake Tapper tweeting and "Official White House statement on Steve Bannon".

Pretty strong stuff: https://twitter.com/jaketapper/status/948624299249881089


Interesting. Now was that written by Trump or Bannon's enemies around Trump?

Blogger Lovekraft January 03, 2018 5:28 PM  

Numerous reddit subs where this can be posted, and germinate.

Blogger lowercaseb January 03, 2018 5:32 PM  

Junius Stone wrote:And I'd say Wheaton is a lock to be the first recipient. 3 to 1 odds he dies from brain lock.

I don't know...Shia LaBeouf is giving him a hard fight for that title.

Anonymous Avalanche January 03, 2018 5:40 PM  

The Wheaton or the Wesley,
And I'd say Wheaton is a lock to be the first recipient. 3 to 1 odds he dies from brain lock.
I don't know...Shia LaBeouf is giving him a hard fight for that title.


Split the first-ever award? Wheaton and LeBeouf can hold hands and cry together on stage?

Blogger MendoScot January 03, 2018 5:55 PM  

William Burrough's award for Suicidal AutoErotica.

Blogger Nate73 January 03, 2018 5:59 PM  

Needs to be another category for game of thrones. How about the Tyrion Lannister Rape award for someone who rapes someone else then tries to justify it based on their victim status and life-long oppression points. I feel this better epitomizes Game of Thrones and should go to someone like Kevin Spacey who implied his actions were due to him being gay. Or like how Cenk Ugyar tried to blame his blogging about women being genetically inferior on him being a CONSERVATIVE (!!!).

Best Male Feminist award, The White Knight award, or maybe the Russian Deadpool Beta Male Memorial Award - goes to the most outspoken SF male feminist later found to be a rapist.

Blogger weka January 03, 2018 6:18 PM  

The John Ringo award for heterosexual dominant scene, and the Michael Z Williamson sex worker award.

As an aside, all winners are given an arrangement jumpsuit, their own personal Bubba, and registration with the sex offender registry of their choice.

Blogger VD January 03, 2018 6:34 PM  

The atheists I know are libertarian or conservative.

And no one I know voted for Nixon. Come on. Raise your game.

Blogger Michael January 03, 2018 6:56 PM  

Most Absurd Racial/Gender Swap of an Established Character or Franchise (Marvel Comics is a lock for this one)
Popularized High Concept or Moral Most Likely to Destroy Civilization
Worst Protagonist
Most Effective Use of Virtue Signaling to Destroy an Established Franchise (Star Wars might get one!)
Least Romantic Romance

Blogger John Bradley January 03, 2018 7:04 PM  

Perhaps the Jack L. Chalker memorial award for "Best 'Character Wakes Up with Different Genitals Than They Went To Sleep With' Scene".

Blogger Junius Stone January 03, 2018 7:29 PM  

That seems to be a staple in some sub genres of anime. I hear. The Japanese are weird.

Anonymous Alice De Goon January 03, 2018 7:56 PM  

How about you make a set of awards for Historical Fiction, too? Like these:

"Most Dindus Crammed Onto a Viking Battlefield" Award.

"The Mary Beard Special Award for Audacious Blackwashing of European Historical Figures"

and for the theatre:

"Best Fireman's Carry of a Landwhale Portraying a Tragic Shakespearean Female Character" Award (Heavyweight Division.)

Anonymous LurkingPuppy January 03, 2018 8:20 PM  

haus frau wrote:@80 Or maybe the Eyes Wide Shut award(s) for least plausible deniability and worst excuse for long-term feigned ignorance.

Perhaps we could nominate Kenny Smith's mother for that one? She called up MZB expecting her to tell her the truth about molestation rumors concerning her own husband and then allowed her small son to spend an entire week with the man.

No, she made a genuine effort to find out whether it was safe. The problem is that only one person anywhere near Breen (Moira) knew the truth and was willing to tell it, and everyone Ms. Mason talked to said that Moira was crazy, and she listened to the people who said that instead of contacting Moira herself.

Whenever there's one or more pedophiles in a group, and someone catches on and starts talking about it, the defense is always to claim that the guy who is talking about it is crazy.

Anonymous GodEmperorMemes January 03, 2018 8:21 PM  

a.k.a. The Arthur C. Cuck Award

Anonymous Causal Lurker January 03, 2018 8:32 PM  

Blast you weka, that made me spray water on the screen. Only the Kildar can bring in the Kildar.

So, which award receives the crowbar mounted on a wood base? Well, how else do you separate the pedos from the ______?

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 03, 2018 8:50 PM  

The sad part? These awards will have multiple real nominees every year. Moira Greyland has shown how deep the rot goes. Thank God for the alternatives because the mainstream publishers are rotten clear through.

Blogger Nakota Publishing January 03, 2018 9:14 PM  

Hahaha hilarious!

Anonymous Laz January 03, 2018 9:33 PM  

"How about you make a set of awards for Historical Fiction, too? Like these:"

Make it just one award- "The historical revisionist award"

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 03, 2018 10:40 PM  

I just noticed the vanilla star trek one in the middle. That's some top notch cruelty artistry right there.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 03, 2018 10:44 PM  

Now we just need a con to sponsor the awards.

Anonymous GodEmperorMemes January 03, 2018 11:08 PM  

That would be the Kevin Spacey Lifetime Achievement Award

Blogger flyingtiger January 04, 2018 1:15 AM  

The civic leaders of Rotterham England deserve some sort of award. There should a Dr. Smith award for most incompetent pedo.

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot January 04, 2018 1:57 AM  

"Best Placement of an Age-Inappropriate Toy"

Blogger Phunctor January 04, 2018 2:08 AM  

I had my wife read Moira’s book. We’ve grown closer. Still hasn’t divulged.

Blogger Dire Badger January 04, 2018 3:48 AM  

weka wrote:The John Ringo award for heterosexual dominant scene, and the Michael Z Williamson sex worker award.

As an aside, all winners are given an arrangement jumpsuit, their own personal Bubba, and registration with the sex offender registry of their choice.



Sorry Son, but we are talking about pedophilia and rape apologists, here... Not those who wrestle with the theme of D&S and call it exactly what it is.

Blogger Aeoli January 04, 2018 6:39 AM  

"Best Placement of an Age-Inappropriate Toy"

I don't remember which but one of those family sitcoms had an infamous ad where one of the kids was wearing a ring gag. If need be I can track this down.

Blogger Aeoli January 04, 2018 6:42 AM  

Not those who wrestle with the theme of D&S and call it exactly what it is.

Ringo doesn't belong in this crowd but he doesn't exactly "wrestle" with fetishism so much as wallow in it.

Blogger Vanners January 04, 2018 8:05 AM  

Comet Pizza honourable mention.

Blogger Vanners January 04, 2018 8:06 AM  

On second thoughts: Comet Pizza dishonourable mention.

Blogger Redpill Angel January 04, 2018 8:01 PM  

188: Aeoli: the show was The Mick, on Fox. There was also a scene in which a woman shoves her fist down a small boy's throat repeatedly. And a scene in which an underage teen girl has noisy sex with her boyfriend upstairs. A perfectly horrible show.

Anonymous Luke January 05, 2018 4:39 AM  

My idea for an anti-SJW sci-fi/fantasy writer award:

Fictional universe who you'd most like to see everyone in it killed.

Anonymous MaMu77 January 05, 2018 7:58 AM  

Every single person in this picture is a rapist. All sarcasm aside, I'd bet a year's salary that all of those people are sexual predators. That is the oddest assortment of (purportedly) human beings that I've ever seen, and I've walked through Wilmington.

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