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Tuesday, January 02, 2018

The jar ran out

He tries so hard to be relevant. To be significant. To matter. But not all the agent- and publisher-pumping in the world can disguise the fact that the grand decade-long attempt to transform a blogger turned midlist writer of color-by-number Heinlein pastiche into a leading author has failed.
John Scalzi@scalzi
Actual thing I just said as I was cleaning my office: "Damn it, *now* where am I going to put this special citation from the Ohio House of Representatives?!?"

(it was under a pile of books before)

Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records@FrmerJoe
Actual thing I thought while reading this tweet: "Scalzi needs everyone to know that he got citations from the Ohio House of Representatives and Senate? How pathetic is that?"

John Scalzi@scalzi
(pats head)

That's because you're an asshole, child.

Artie Fufkin, Polymer Records@FrmerJoe
Wow! Killer comeback! I can see why your cutting wit is feared throughout the land.
This naturally raises the question, how would a dumpy little guy like Scalzi pat anyone on the head in the first place? He's 5'4" and nearly 200 pounds; he's little more than a gelatinous blob of SJW, snark, and insecurity. Anyhow, I preferred this response.

Spacebunny Day @Spacebunnyday
Actual thing I said when I was cleaning out my attic: "Damn it, *now* where am I going to put my fifth place ribbon from my jr. high track and field day?!"

The most amusing thing about this exchange is that it's the consequence of Scalzi's attempt to address the very uncomfortable fact that VP is now nearly ten times more popular than Whatever by his own chosen metric of importance. IT'S LIKE THE BOUNDLESS HELL OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY! NETFLIX! PARAMOUNT! MOBILE GAMES! SPECIAL FREAKING CITATION!

Well, Scalzi certainly is special, to put it mildly. Whatever happened to that jar of ZFG? It must have run out.

Labels: ,

109 Comments:

Blogger Nate73 January 02, 2018 1:04 PM  

I used to think sarcasm was cool, witty, the height of stunning intellect that could raze any intellectual forest to the ground. It only changed because of guys like Vox Day... and guys like Scalzi!

Anonymous VFM #6306 January 02, 2018 1:06 PM  

Zero is the loneliest humble he can ever be.

Anonymous VFM #6306 January 02, 2018 1:11 PM  

As much as he lies, I suspect the citation was actually a parking ticket.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) January 02, 2018 1:12 PM  

ScalziDaughter asks, "Do you even lift, Dad?"

Anonymous 1337kestrel January 02, 2018 1:15 PM  

It’s not all bragging. Say, 85% bragging.

The other 15% is the annoying sense of humor of the midwit. OMG how Crazy and Surreal it is that I have juxtaposed this Serious item into this unserious place / situation?? LOL

It’s basically the same as Monty Python, or 90s Will Smith, but less funny.

Blogger Nate January 02, 2018 1:15 PM  

"it will be ok... it will be ok... I will just tell them they are on the wrong side of history. That always works. right?" - The Voice in John Scalzi's Head

Anonymous Frustrated Junior Editor at TOR January 02, 2018 1:16 PM  

Who told you to clean out your attic, John? Get out of the attic! Unless there's a chapter hidden away in there that you haven't sent to me yet, stay out of your attic!

Anonymous LGrin January 02, 2018 1:17 PM  

They're still doing Old Man's War on Netflix? I hadn't heard anything about it falling apart.

Blogger S1AL January 02, 2018 1:18 PM  

The truly sad thing is that there may come a day when Scalzi is no longer even worthy of these posts, and Vox will have to find a new Scalzi.

And that takes some work. Not every SJW blowhard has the qualities necessary to be a proper chew toy.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 02, 2018 1:20 PM  

His daughter is great in, 'Bright'. Not many girls that carry off playing a male cop opposite Will Smith. Filing her tusks must have been painful.

Blogger Zerk J January 02, 2018 1:21 PM  

OT, very humorous story in Navy Times.

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2017/12/30/exclusive-how-peter-mims-spent-a-week-hiding-in-a-warships-engine-room/

Blogger Dave January 02, 2018 1:22 PM  

Actual thing I just said as I was reading this thread: "Damn it, that's what I've been missing my whole life; a special citation from the Ohio House of Reps."

Anonymous MaskettaMan January 02, 2018 1:22 PM  

*Grabs Scalzi by the throat* Back the fuck off?!

Blogger Steve Sky January 02, 2018 1:26 PM  

I read it, and thought it was a textbook case of Humblebragging.

Anonymous Crew (not the one who makes stupid claims) January 02, 2018 1:27 PM  

OT, but it looks like the concept of Judeo-Christianity has been tried and tried before ...

Jewish attempts to alter Christian thinking about Jews, from within Christianity, were already well-established by the date of Nadal’s intercession with the Inquisitor. An excellent example is the classic work of Alonso de Santa María de Cartagena (1384–1456) — Defensorium unitatis christianae [In Defense of Christian Unity] (1449–50). Alonso de Cartagena had been baptized (at the age of five or six) by his father Shlomo ha-Levi, later renamed Pablo de Santa María (c. 1351–1435), who— as chief rabbi of Burgos—converted to Christianity just before the anti-Jewish riots of 1391 and later was elected bishop of Cartagena (1402) and Burgos (1415). The fact that the wife of this Bishop of Burgos remained an unconverted Jewess does not appear to have impeded the latter’s career in the Church is interesting to say the least.

The Jesuit Order as a Synagogue of Jews: Jesuits of Jewish Ancestry and Purity-of-Blood Laws in the Early Society of Jesus

Blogger Steve Sky January 02, 2018 1:30 PM  

As I was reading it, I was thinking it was a textbook example of humblebragging.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 02, 2018 1:34 PM  

Ivan Throne Laugh picture

I've got nothing else.


@15 Steve Sky

It's a citation from a State government that can be had mostly by request. It fails at even being a humblebrag.

Anonymous E Deploribus Unum January 02, 2018 1:35 PM  

Vox will have to find a new Scalzi

Scalzi has been an ongoing source of amusement since I started reading. I'm not sure the VP experience would be the quite same if Vox stopped wiping his ass with Lawn Boy periodically.

Anonymous Ominous Cowherd January 02, 2018 1:38 PM  

Looking Glass wrote:It's a citation from a State government that can be had mostly by request. It fails at even being a humblebrag.

Even I have a citation from a house of representatives. A citation from a House is definitely too humble for a humblebrag.

Anonymous well whatever nevermind January 02, 2018 1:40 PM  

That's because he is still a sci fi writer while you're trying to do politics.

His latest blog is about a book he actually wrote. You're still picking up news reports about local crime by immigrants and claiming you're a genius.

Blogger Steve Sky January 02, 2018 1:44 PM  

@16 Looking Glass - Ok, I didn't know that, and was giving him credit for at least being recognized by the Ohio House of Representatives, thus the humblebrag.
But from what you are saying, it's worse than that. Request it, and then brag about receiving it.

Blogger VD January 02, 2018 1:47 PM  

You're still picking up news reports about local crime by immigrants and claiming you're a genius.

Stings, doesn't it. Of course, you're lying. Not only have I never claimed to be a genius, I expressly deny the label. Other people have called me that, but I never have.

Blogger ace January 02, 2018 1:48 PM  

I wonder if Scalzi could have said anything at all in response. Perhaps: "I'll put in a good word for you, next time I'm in Columbus."

Though pretty much anything would be better than 'teleports behind you.'

Blogger sysadmn January 02, 2018 1:51 PM  

VFM #6306 wrote:As much as he lies, I suspect the citation was actually a parking ticket.

No, it's a major award!. It was a Governor's award for Individual Artists, which he shared with a professor of textile arts at Kent State.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 02, 2018 1:54 PM  

@20 Steve Sky

There exists a citation the Pres. Reagan about the highest score in Pac-Man, from the early 80s. The reason humblebragging started is LeVar Burton put up a picture with his family and his 10+ Emmy Awards, Scalzi attempted with something fairly unremarkable.

It has to be something to brag about in the first place. Al Bundy at least threw 4 touchdowns.

Anonymous BBGKB January 02, 2018 1:55 PM  

Scalzi needs everyone to know that he got citations from

Just be glad he isn't talking about his trophy from the hot dog eating contest.

His daughter is great in, 'Bright'. Not many girls that carry off playing a male cop opposite Will Smith

How bad was it,I tried to watch it but it put me to sleep around the time they started talking about wands. Who knew they actually made an Orc Lives Matter movie

Blogger dtungsten January 02, 2018 1:56 PM  

"LOL, so random!"

Anonymous a deplorable rubberducky January 02, 2018 1:57 PM  

What happened to that sailor in the hold is that he read Scalzi. Friends don't let friends read Scalzi, just look what happens.

When my son graduated high school a very nice commendation arrived from the Oklahoma Senate. It's a head scratcher. We aren't in Oklahoma or even close. Don't know anybody in Oklahoma. Nevertheless there it is, on his wall. Great conversation starter. Seems like these legislators spend a lot of time on truly insane and even random honorific.

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother January 02, 2018 2:02 PM  

...not this time, Johnny boy...not this time...

Anonymous BBGKB January 02, 2018 2:05 PM  

humorous story in Navy Times. -how-peter-mims-spent-a-week-hiding-in-a-warships-engine-room/

https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-military/2017/12/30/trump-administration-accepts-jan-1-transgender-enlistment/

Seriously this is a mistake the cost of whoremone treatments will be prohibitive especially if given to veterans after they get out. Trying to send hormones to places like remote bases in afganistan have high logistics costs to the point a gallon of gas delivered is over $400

Anonymous Brick Hardslab January 02, 2018 2:05 PM  

They actually say, "Fairy lives don't matter." So probably not for you. Not horrible though.

Anonymous fop January 02, 2018 2:14 PM  

MOAR CAT PICS AND BURRITO DESCRIPTIONS JOHNNY!

Anonymous franklinjennings January 02, 2018 2:15 PM  

@Zerk j

That was on the Shiloh? A 5500 sq mile man overboard hunt?

When I was on the Shiloh, we jettisoned an irreparable floor buffer off the fantail during the dog watch. Senior Chief wanted it gone, we made it gone.

Anyway, the hermetically sealed motor floated the whole thing for about an hour. It looked exactly like a man overboard throwing his arm up waving at the ship. Not a single watch noticed. You couldn't drive a 8p nail up our asses with a 10lb hammer as we stood and watched and hoped and prayed the watches wouldn't notice.

Always heard sea stories about guys who didn't muster in the middle of a Westpac. They'd just mark em UA and move on.

Now they can't avoid $&=&@(÷>=8 supercargoes, but they search 5500 sq miles for one dude? Amazing!

Anonymous MailPouchMan January 02, 2018 2:16 PM  

So Scalzi has a citation proving he is "special." That's nice.

Blogger Rabbi B January 02, 2018 2:16 PM  

John Scalzi's short man's disease is unparalleled.


"You are a sad, strange, little man and you have my pity." - Buzz Lightyear

Blogger Brad Matthews January 02, 2018 2:19 PM  

Spacebunny is a keeper.

Blogger Feather Blade January 02, 2018 2:25 PM  

Isn't he supposed to writing a book?

(or is it three books by now?)

Anonymous Not John Scalzi January 02, 2018 2:32 PM  

Oh, my sweet summer child.

You're just jealous of John Scalzi's big-ass lawn and/or megawife.

Blogger Jeff aka Orville January 02, 2018 2:33 PM  

He's cleaning his office. You know what that means right? His writer's block is so big it has expanded into the universe next to ours.

Blogger dh January 02, 2018 2:35 PM  

He's on his 3rd year of a 10 year 13-book deal, I wonder how he's doing on his pace. And I wonder how is foray into young-adult is going.

Oh well at least his office will be clean.

Blogger Ingot9455 January 02, 2018 2:39 PM  

@8 "Netflix, you're greenlit!" -South Park

Blogger Longtime Lurker January 02, 2018 2:40 PM  

There once was a writer named John (Scalzi).
Who tweeted hither and yon.
But along came the New Year.
And with it the usual fear.
That his career as a writer might be gone.

https://whatever.scalzi.com/2018/01/01/hey-scalzi-got-any-new-years-resolutions/

Blogger Wynn Lloyd January 02, 2018 2:40 PM  

If I had a published novel read by so many people, and a story of mine was turned into a program by Netflix,, I'd be so happy. I think most people would. Yet this guy has to humble brag when narcissistic supply starts to run out. This guy is being fueled by insecurity. Like VD said, this can go all the way back to childhood.
At some point you have to grow up, though, and express gratitude to God for your good fortune. Certainly there would be no need for bragging, even humble-bragging, if a psychologically healthy person was a known, published author.

Anonymous Stickwick January 02, 2018 2:42 PM  

What is a special citation?

Blogger Azimus January 02, 2018 2:43 PM  

...blogger turned midlist writer of color-by-number Heinlein pastiche...

I'm learning to embrace the inner eviscerator... this was beautiful...

Blogger Azimus January 02, 2018 2:44 PM  

41. Stickwick January 02, 2018 2:42 PM
What is a special citation?


I think you have to pay it or the DOT suspends your driver's license.

Anonymous A Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents January 02, 2018 2:45 PM  

OT
Orrin Hatch to retire at end of term Mittens one possible replacement.

Anonymous Steve Canyon January 02, 2018 2:52 PM  

In his hope chest, under a pile of books, covered by the dress he wore on his first date.

Anonymous JAG January 02, 2018 2:57 PM  

Ouch. The worst moment in the world for a gamma is when an attractive woman cuts them low. That's much worse than the jocks giving him an atomic wedgie. Too funny.

Anonymous JAG January 02, 2018 3:04 PM  

Looking Glass wrote:@20 Steve Sky

There exists a citation the Pres. Reagan about the highest score in Pac-Man, from the early 80s. The reason humblebragging started is LeVar Burton put up a picture with his family and his 10+ Emmy Awards, Scalzi attempted with something fairly unremarkable.

It has to be something to brag about in the first place. Al Bundy at least threw 4 touchdowns.


Interesting side note. That Pac-Man high score was a lie. Kid claimed a score that was later proven to be mathematically impossible by a lot. He claimed over 5 million points when the max score was 3.33 million.

Anonymous Stickwick January 02, 2018 3:06 PM  

Azimus: I think you have to pay it or the DOT suspends your driver's license.

That was my impression.

Anonymous Looking Glass January 02, 2018 3:09 PM  

@47 JAG

I know. Which is why I brought it up, but the kid still got the citation from the desk of Pres. Reagan. The Ohio citation isn't nothing, but why would you ever mention it?

Blogger Cataline Sergius January 02, 2018 3:14 PM  

Deeply disappointed in Scalzi.

He should have turned down the Citation from the Ohio House of Representatives to make room for new authors like Larry Corriea and John Ringo.

Anonymous Stickwick January 02, 2018 3:22 PM  

Special citations notwithstanding, it sounds like Scalzi is the type of person who would vastly benefit from Jordan Peterson's past and future self-authoring programs. The alternative is to spin his wheels in this humiliating way for eternity, and I just don't understand how anyone can stand to be ruled by past experiences like that.

Anonymous Ervin Huntley January 02, 2018 3:37 PM  

@51 He's already "cleaning his room."

Blogger Snidely Whiplash January 02, 2018 3:42 PM  

S1AL wrote:The truly sad thing is that there may come a day when Scalzi is no longer even worthy of these posts, and Vox will have to find a new Scalzi.
Not until he apologizes, or eats a pistol.
My money is on his preference for eating the pistol.

Blogger David The Good January 02, 2018 3:51 PM  

"Not only have I never claimed to be a genius, I expressly deny the label. Other people have called me that, but I never have."

But did the Ohio House of Representatives weigh in?

Blogger Salt January 02, 2018 3:55 PM  

What was the citation for? His lawn?

Anonymous E Deploribus Unum January 02, 2018 4:04 PM  

What was the citation for? His lawn?

Thread winner.

Anonymous HardReturn¶ January 02, 2018 4:07 PM  

and it was countersigned by Pierre Andre *in ink*
(Pierre Andre, Junior Assistant Lick-spittle to the Adjutant Under Secretary)

Blogger Ariadne Umbrella January 02, 2018 4:11 PM  

thank you for that link on the jesuits. my father was raised deep south baptist, then attended a jesuit university, back when they required religious instruction classes. he came out of it saying "they are very logical, but I don't see Jesus in their theology." The second side effect is that he was a very nasty, well-educated, anti-Christian for 40+ years.

He has returned to the church. But, the synagogue of Satan could have claimed his soul into hell at any point, since he is not in good health.

It was also generally unpleasant for literally every single person in his family, all of whom are Christian, to have him noxiously spouting during every.last.single.family.event.ever.

Anonymous DaveInjustice January 02, 2018 4:15 PM  

John Scalzi @scalzi
Solution: put it next to the special citation from the Ohio State Senate. Glad to have this sorted. https://t.co/iFyG8O1wN9

That, my friends is the fabled Humblebrag Double Down.

Blogger OGRE January 02, 2018 4:19 PM  

@57 Honors and Benefits!

Anonymous Jon Bromfield January 02, 2018 4:20 PM  

The COLLAPSING EMPIRE's standing as the most uninspired and mundane SF title of all time has been eclipsed by its own sequel, "The Widening Gyre".

Anything like a Snapping Gyre?

Anonymous Man of the Atom January 02, 2018 4:21 PM  

DaveInjustice wrote:John Scalzi @scalzi

Solution: put it next to the special citation from the Ohio State Senate. Glad to have this sorted. https://t.co/iFyG8O1wN9

That, my friends is the fabled Humblebrag Double Down.



Both Ohio chambers recognized the awesomeness expanse of the Scalzi Lawn?

Anonymous Man of the Atom January 02, 2018 4:25 PM  

To tweak a fine MST3K riff on what PNH must be thinking (praying?):

"John, this is God! Pick. Up. The. Pace."

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) January 02, 2018 5:08 PM  

15. Steve Sky January 02, 2018 1:30 PM
As I was reading it, I was thinking it was a textbook example of humblebragging.



It's a citation from a State that elected John Kasich to governor. It fails at even being a humblebrag.




https://twitter.com/scalzi/status/948296853505921025

why Scalzi is concerned about this, i have no idea. i'm still not sure that Scalzi's wife didn't reproduce via parthenogenesis.

otoh, at least he acknowledges that even in the best case scenario he brings nothing of value to the relationship aside from some trouser snake dribbles.

"the best part of John Scalzi ran down his own leg"

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 02, 2018 5:20 PM  

I read a free sample of his book, he should practice thrift. Well within the SJW box, tedious is best I can describe, kind of like listening to a woman babble on about something you have no interest in.

Anonymous A Most Deplorable Paradigm Is More Than Twenty Cents January 02, 2018 5:22 PM  

Solution: put it next to the special citation from the Ohio State Senate.

Not one, but two participation awards? Wow, just wow!

Anonymous Killua January 02, 2018 5:35 PM  

This naturally raises the question, how would a dumpy little guy like Scalzi pat anyone on the head in the first place? He's 5'4" and nearly 200 pounds

If you look him from the right angle, he is more like a 6'4'' ex-marine.

Blogger Bob Loblaw January 02, 2018 5:37 PM  

In all seriousness, does anyone know what the citation is actually for? Are there really so many illiterate people in Ohio he actually got a citation for writing books?

Anonymous Watchu talkin bout Willis January 02, 2018 5:41 PM  

I believe I still have a certificate showing I "participated" in the President's Physical Fitness Program in 1981. Complete with faux Ronald Reagan signature. If memory serves, everyone in my 5th grade class got one if they tried to do a pushup or a situp.

Anonymous Musashi January 02, 2018 5:43 PM  

Scalzi thinks that by constantly drawing attention to his many failures as a man, as a White man, and as a nominally heterosexual White man that we are all as utterly pathetic and weak as he is. Also, he thinks by doing this he is striking a blow against strong White normalcy and impressing every 300 pound "They/Them" out there.

Blogger seeingsights January 02, 2018 5:47 PM  

Scalzi also is not a good arguer, which surprises me because he has a degree in philosophy.
Look up his post on the Supreme Court ruling which held that the authorities may not look at the contents of your smart phone without a warrant. He agreed with it--as do I, it's a great decision---but there were no arguments in that post. Just a paragraph of blather.

Blogger bw January 02, 2018 6:04 PM  

have a certificate showing I "participated" in the President's Physical Fitness Program in 1981

Should be a cert AND a patch! find that round iron on ...

OpenID a59a9528-b2e7-11e3-b557-000f20980440 January 02, 2018 6:08 PM  

"Old man's war" was quite good - also quite Heinleinesque, incorporating Heinlein's politics as progressives understand him, which is to say, fascist politics. (Heinlein, of course, was a libertarian and anarchist, but progressives do not understand the difference between libertarianism and fascism, so Old Man's war was cheerfully fascist.)

And then Scalzi, in return for being puffed up by the mainstream publishing houses, starts writing progressive stuff. Which was utter dreck.

There is something about fascism that just makes for better stories.

Anonymous Til January 02, 2018 6:11 PM  

I wonder if Scalzi regrets picking a fight with Voxinator yet.

Deep down he has to wonder if he fueled the fire.

Anonymous JAG January 02, 2018 6:11 PM  

Watchu talkin bout Willis wrote:I believe I still have a certificate showing I "participated" in the President's Physical Fitness Program in 1981. Complete with faux Ronald Reagan signature. If memory serves, everyone in my 5th grade class got one if they tried to do a pushup or a situp.

I actually won it, and got the blue patch. Still have it in a box somewhere. I got the same fake sig from Ronnie. I know he was busy, and all, but I was one of only two boys in my entire school to win the award. You would think it would rate a real sig. Ah well, still like him as POTUS much better than any other in my life besides the G-E.

Anonymous Not Scalzi January 02, 2018 6:18 PM  

Bob Loblaw wrote:In all seriousness, does anyone know what the citation is actually for? Are there really so many illiterate people in Ohio he actually got a citation for writing books?

He got a commendation from the Ohio Senate for being nominated for the Hugo and winning the Campbell in '05.

Back in 2006. He got another in 2016 for "just for being a creative sort of dude who lives in Ohio".

The OHoR citation is probably referring to his 2016 Ohio Senate "creative dude" award.

So I guess it's cool he didn't have so messy an office he kept the award from 2006 under a pile of books, just the 2016 one.



Blogger Silly but True January 02, 2018 6:27 PM  

Given the level of incompetence they have to put up with, U.S. Navy ships aren't choosing to run into Chinese container vessels to put themselves out of their misery at nearly the rate I would expect them to.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) January 02, 2018 6:47 PM  

OT, a Makow tweet checks out, pg 155 or 77/110 of the scan:
"Philosophies do not remold natures.
...
The Jewish radical will turn from your social movement: he will discover his mistake. He will discover that nothing can bridge the gap between you and us.
...
We Jews, we the destroyers, will remain the destroyers forever. Nothing that you will do will meet our demands. We will forever destroy because we need a world of our own, a God-World, which it is not in your nature to build."


sounds rather like a call to the genocide of the goyim, does it not?

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) January 02, 2018 6:47 PM  

https://archive.org/stream/YouGentiles_414/YouGentiles#page/n76/mode/1up/search/80

Anonymous DaveInjustice January 02, 2018 6:50 PM  

Yo Dog, I heard you like participation, so I got you this participation award from the state for your participation Hugo

Anonymous Sidehill Dodger January 02, 2018 6:57 PM  

Jon Bromfield wrote:The COLLAPSING EMPIRE's standing as the most uninspired and mundane SF title of all time has been eclipsed by its own sequel, "The Widening Gyre".

That's the title of the next Scalzi book? Gag. He's going to misappropriate Yeats. This calls for another book by Johan Kalsi! I wonder what its title will be? Maybe The Left Cannot Hold? Narrowing Death Spiral? Or maybe just Things Fall Apart.

Blogger SteelPalm January 02, 2018 7:04 PM  

Years ago, before I had even discovered VP, I wrote something insulting on Twitter about Scalzi. To my surprise, not only did he respond, but he spent an entire morning going back-and-forth with me. The most amusing thing, though, was how freaking terrible his comebacks and attempts at humor were.

I expected a lot better from a successful published author, nevermind one noted for his comedy. (This was before I had the displeasure of reading one of his works)

"Artie Fufkin" decimated him in that exchange.

Blogger weka January 02, 2018 7:16 PM  

Not into he apologizes or eats a pistol. My money is on his preference for eating the pistol

He has a pistol?

Anonymous Causal Lurker January 02, 2018 7:23 PM  

The citation is for driving at an unsafe on his short(est) bus-lawnmower. Special, indeed. Maybe it's the Corrosion overcoming him.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash January 02, 2018 7:30 PM  

weka wrote:He has a pistol?
His daughter does. In case he gets... frisky.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 02, 2018 7:31 PM  

His career is in a said eddy of the "Flow."

Blogger The Aardvark January 02, 2018 7:53 PM  

@81
"He has a pistol?"

It shoots jelly.

Blogger roughcoat January 02, 2018 8:07 PM  

Killua wrote:This naturally raises the question, how would a dumpy little guy like Scalzi pat anyone on the head in the first place? He's 5'4" and nearly 200 pounds

If you look him from the right angle, he is more like a 6'4'' ex-marine.


But where does one find a funhouse mirror these days?

Anonymous Broken Arrow January 02, 2018 8:09 PM  

Actually he does own at least one gun which is why he stays away from commenting on gun control. It's a smart thing to own since he's a very minor celebrity with money in a rural area, but the SJWs would crucify him if he spoke about it too much. So he avoids the topic from what I see.

Blogger Jew613 January 02, 2018 8:56 PM  

At this point Scalzi is so pathetic I hardly take any pleasure in watching Vox humiliate him in one public setting after another. It used to be really funny, now its just sad, watching this tiny little man try to show how important he is and with every metric he chooses Scalzi keeps losing.

Anonymous Godfrey January 02, 2018 9:12 PM  

It's like watching a play. You know what's going to happen. The actors deliver their lines and the characters go through their motions and it ends exactly like you knew it would. And the curtain falls.

Is anyone surprised?

Anonymous Godfrey January 02, 2018 9:17 PM  

It was all so predictable. And it's all so pathetic.

In the end all a man has is his integrity. And sadly some come to their end without even that.

Anonymous GenXsly January 02, 2018 10:17 PM  

Funny thing, I found those old ribbons of various colors from the old Presidential Fitness thing (early 80s), and they were all like, 3rd, 4th, 5th place, LOL. I may have one for 6th place for all I know. Do they still do those in school these days, or would the shuttle run be too difficult for the boys in high heels?

How things have changed. Remember your gym coach screaming at you? and that one (of about three) male teachers you had in elementary school that would tell a student to "no really, I said STFU" and turn their desk over and dump their shit on the floor?

Back in the day. We had a teacher that bought into all that backward masking stuff, and since every room had a record player back then, he let us bring in records and try to spin them backwards and strain to hear if we heard anything devilish (you used to go do this with some players).

Another bites the dust? "Some of us smoke marijuana" is all we heard.

Blogger Bob Loblaw January 02, 2018 10:19 PM  

a59a9528-b2e7-11e3-b557-000f20980440 wrote:"Old man's war" was quite good - also quite Heinleinesque, incorporating Heinlein's politics as progressives understand him, which is to say, fascist politics. (Heinlein, of course, was a libertarian and anarchist, but progressives do not understand the difference between libertarianism and fascism, so Old Man's war was cheerfully fascist.)

And then Scalzi, in return for being puffed up by the mainstream publishing houses, starts writing progressive stuff. Which was utter dreck.

There is something about fascism that just makes for better stories.


What? OMW was horrible. The concept may have had some merit - I don't know. But the actual writing, the wordsmithing part, was just unbearable. I've seen better writing in high school freshman essays. It's one of the few books I paid for and didn't read to the end.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan January 02, 2018 11:04 PM  

Imagine a planet where females are the rulers, a few males kept in weak and demoralized condition as sperm donors so as to produce the next generation Amazon go grrrrls and I have no idea what this has to do with this thread.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) January 02, 2018 11:23 PM  

David Brin already wrote that book.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_Season

Anonymous Jo January 02, 2018 11:54 PM  

A recent tweet by Scalzi claims that he's more like 5'7.

A few folks have mentioned that they feel sorry for Scalzi. I have empathy. A lot of empathy, in fact, and it's easy for me to feel sorrow for someone. But not this guy. He's despicable. He really is. I've followed him for years, and I've seen his tactics, and I've seen his arrogance, and I've seen how he treats folks who don't pray to his flawed narrative.

Blogger Thucydides January 03, 2018 12:48 AM  

Some people never seem to know when to cut their losses.

If I had received a huge advance like that, I'd invest most of it (against the day they demanded it back) and thrown myself into the task of ensuring they did *not* demand it back. (If I were a Castalia House author I'd have some true fear behind that motivation. I don't want to imagine suddenly finding a VHM at the door casually asking for the finished draft or Vox's cheque back.....)

Fun aside, he has stumbled onto more good fortune than most of us will ever see, and simply squanders it and pisses all over himself while doing so. It is both maddening and sad at the same time. The best way to deal with it is to simply set him to "ignore", much like I did with his books after reading "OMW" and realizing the praise was vastly disproportionate to the actual work at hand.

Blogger Thucydides January 03, 2018 12:50 AM  

WTF is autocorrect doing? FHM for VFM?

Anonymous DeeJay January 03, 2018 1:12 AM  

Considering his contract, why is he even wasting time on Twitter at all? I remember reading in "Don't Panic" how Douglas Adams' publishers essentially imprisoned him in a hotel room for weeks to get their book. This, after he'd received much smaller advances, and engaged in far more productive distractions (such as playing text adventures, which led to his Infocom work). A better writer with a far bigger following, too... TANJ.

Blogger roughcoat January 03, 2018 2:02 AM  

If I had received a huge advance like that, I'd invest most of it (against the day they demanded it back) and thrown myself into the task of ensuring they did *not* demand it back.

Right? I'd have the 13 drafts written in the first year for 1/10th what he got and I'd be happy as a pig in shit doing it. And I could likely do it working just 5 hours a day. Scalzi's a lazy turd.

Blogger F.D. Stephens January 03, 2018 4:24 AM  

Scalzi tweeted 17,059 times in 2017, down 2,000, although these are his own stats, so who knows.

I think it was Chuck Palahniuk who said nobody's produces anything half decent if they're plugged into the internet while they're writing. Turns out he's right.

Tubbs Scalzi says he's cutting back on social media in 2018. Sounds like Tor has worked out Chuck knows a thing or two.

Anonymous Jo January 03, 2018 6:02 AM  

Okay, I have to share this. One of Scalzi's responses to a comment on his blog. It's responding to a comment about how it's good to get up from the computer every now and then to move around:

Quote:
"I had a natural “get up and walk around” tool when I had a dog, since Daisy would come and ask to go out, and then a while would bark to be let in again, so I would have to go down the stairs each time to do that. I suspect we will get another dog at some point, so that will be taken care of again."

This guy. His version of exercise is to get up to ... not walk the dog ... but to open the door and let the dog out. Then he waits for a bark before he walks back to the door to let the dog in.

I'm sorry his dog passed away. I really am. I know that kind of thing hurts, so I hate to chuckle at this, but come on. He can't go outside with his dog and walk with his dog? He gets up to open the door? Is it just me or is there something just terribly amusing about this level of laziness?

Anonymous ScarletNumber January 03, 2018 9:23 AM  

I find his use of the word "citation" to be peculiar. It isn't wrong per se but he is literally using the 8th definition of the word. I would have used proclamation or commendation.

Anonymous glosoli January 03, 2018 12:10 PM  

Vox must try harder to stop spacebunny from writing his blog posts.
The cattiness can only be feminine.
Awful to read.
A sad obsession with Scalzi, displayed with pride.

Blogger SirHamster January 03, 2018 5:25 PM  

Thucydides wrote:WTF is autocorrect doing? FHM for VFM?

I imagine a VHM is a Vile Hatless Minion.

Have to earn the right to a SJW skull cap.

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